LOVE IS!

So YOU think you know what love really is!

What is Love? If you ever come to me for marital counseling, this is one of the first questions I will ask you! Do you really love her/him? Of course, because they've come for marriage counseling they always say "Oh, yes..so much!" I follow up with "What do you mean when you say you love him/her?"

Most of the time I get answers like this...
"I want to spend the rest of my life with her!"
"He makes me feel so good and beautiful."
"I want to take care of her and provide for her!"
"I want to share my thoughts and feelings with him!"

You can add your own thoughts to this one. Do you realize that every one of these statements can also be made concerning a puppy?

This is not what love is! These are feelings and emotions and those are but a very small part of what love really is. Once again let's turn to the Manufacturers Handbook to see exactly what love is...

1 CORINTHIANS l3:4-8 from the amplified Bible reads in this manner...

1} LOVE IS PATIENT --
it is slow to lose patience,
does not demonstrate irritations,
or reflect anger,
or have a quick temper.
Has fully accepted the character of the one being married to.

2} IT IS KIND--
looks for ways of being constructive.
It is actively creative;
it is able to recognize needs;
it discovers successful methods of improving or contributing to the spouses life.

3} IT DOES NOT ENVY--
it is not possessive;
it does not hold exclusive control where your partner is allowed little or no freedom to fulfill himself in what God has for him.

4} IT DOES NOT VAUNT ITSELF--
it is not anxious to impress; does not seek to make an impression or create an image for personal gain.

5} IT IS NOT PUFFED UP--
it does not cherish inflated ideas of its own importance;
it is not self-centered;
it has the ability to change;
it is flexible;
it does not allow or expect life to revolve around itself.

6} IT DOES NOT BEHAVE ITSELF UNSEEMLY--
it has good manners;
has respect for others which results in a set of Christ-centered standards;
has direction;
knows what is proper and when.

7} IT DOES NOT SEEK ITS OWN--
it does not pursue selfish advantage;
does not have primary concern for personal sexual appetites or social status but concern for the needs of your spouse and the families involved.

8} IT IS NOT EASILY PROVOKED--
it is not touchy,
not hypersensitive,
or easily hurt;
does not take things too personally;
is not emotionally involved with personal opinions so that to reject ideas is to reject the one giving them.

9} IT THINKS NO EVIL--
it does not keep account of evil;
does not review wrongs which have been forgiven;
does not dwell on past evil;
destroys evidence of past mistakes when possible.

l0} IT DOES NOT REJOICE IN INIQUITY--
it does not gloat over the wickedness of other people;
does not compare self with others for self-justification;
does not use other’s evil to excuse personal weakness.

11} IT REJOICES IN THE TRUTH--
it is glad with all godly men when truth prevails;
is in active fellowship with dedicated Christians;
is occupied with spiritual objectives.

12} IT BEARS ALL THINGS--
it knows no limit to its forbearance;
has the ability to live with the inconsistencies of others;
has empathy for the problems of your spouse.

13} IT BELIEVES ALL THINGS--
it knows no end to its trust;
you believe in your spouse and your spouse’s worth without question.
It has not reason to doubt the person’s integrity.

14} IT HOPES ALL THINGS--
it knows no fading of its hope;
it is not fickle;
it has perfect peace and confidence in God.

15} IT ENDURES ALL THINGS--
it has unlimited endurance;
it is able to outlast anything;
it is able to endure all obstacles
and even love in the face of un-returned love.

LOVE NEVER FAILS!

I challenge you to rate yourself on a 1-10 scale on each of the above 52 categories. If you really wish to have a good dose of reality, have the someone you "love" rate you! When you discover that most of us are really loving others on emotional terms and not living a true life of love, there is where the journey to real love begins. Discovery of truth and breaking out of deception!

Jesus said that real love involves laying our own life down for our loved ones. John 15:13 "There is no greater love than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends." This means that we are to put our own self centered issues and desires aside and put the other first. In Marriage women are told to submit to husbands and husbands are told to lay down (die) our lives for our wives. Ephesians 5:21-23

The world says put your own interests and desires first. Protect yourself at all costs. God says put others first. You will reap what you sew! We create our own monsters; both good and bad! When your loved one starts going off course, don't seek to lay the blame on them first! Evaluate what kind of seed you've been sewing. You can also take part of the credit when things are going well. (Good Monsters)

Confess your sin of walking out of love to God and begin the journey. Confess also to the one you love and begin this remarkable journey together. There are 52 principles here that you and your loved one can work on together. Take one a week and pray for God's ability and practice the principle of the week together.

It may be a little painful in the beginning, but to be free to love like we were designed is well worth the journey! Doesn't your loved one deserve better? Don't you?